Twisted Logic #1: Phones are Better than Brains

Criticizing people for being “too attached to their phones” is the logical equivalent of accusing people of being “too attached to their brains.” To illustrated, let's see what happens when we apply common critiques of smartphones  to another one of humanity's most potent tools: the human brain. Those spoiled sapiens, one might say. In my day, … Continue reading Twisted Logic #1: Phones are Better than Brains

Some Modest Complaints

Dear God, I`m writing to express some complaints I have concerning your Humans® product line. Now, in a lot of ways, the products are great: I've found that they can be programmed to automatically clean up messes, give massages, and cook meals. Most recently, I learned how to make them pour some sugar on me … Continue reading Some Modest Complaints

Body Parts Set to Vote on New Breakfast Food

With toaster waffles ending their longstanding term as my chosen breakfast dish (since there are none left in my freezer), campaign season is in full swing for the election of my next breakfast food, which will likely remain in power for the next several weeks. So far, the most popular candidates seem to be oatmeal, … Continue reading Body Parts Set to Vote on New Breakfast Food

Canadian Criminals Forced to Vote in American Election as Part of Sentence

OTTAWA — Twelve Canadians found guilty of fraud have been required by judges to vote in the 2016 American Presidential Election as part of their sentences. While some legal professionals have applauded these sentences as an example of innovative and effective law keeping, the move has received heavy backlash from others, with some protesters calling … Continue reading Canadian Criminals Forced to Vote in American Election as Part of Sentence